So here we are 2020 – the beginning of a new decade. How did you ring in the New Year? I spent mine with my NZ bff at Highlife Festival.
This is a just a quick post from me wishing each and every one of you a happy and blessed 2020!
Why I haven’t set any resolutions
Towards the end of the year I began thinking about what I wanted 2020 to look like. Did I have any resolutions that I wanted to set? Usually I would have made a set list: lose x amount of kg, learn to swim, save x amount of money, but I have realised I am only setting myself up for failure.
I have now been travelling for the best part of 17 months and I am a very very different woman to the one that first stepped foot on the plane out of England. Life is not made to be mapped out and planned strategically like a checklist. I used to get sad thinking about my friends and family back home, all of whom are married with families, great careers and nice homes. I assessed myself against all of the things I thought I did not have without truly seeing what I did.
One cannot change the cards that they have been dealt in life. I have two failed long-term relationships and that’s ok. When I enter a relationship it is never for the short-term, so if it ends, chances are it will have taken up a great chunk of my life. Subsequent healing of said relationships also takes time. Those two relationships combined have consumed around 15 years of my life! When you look at it like that it’s pretty crazy eh?
So here I am at 32, single and travelling. By society standards I am a write off right? Wrong!! I believe in the divine nature of timing and the universe giving me what I need when I need it (cue Bondi dreaming) When and if the time is right I will have what my friends and family have. It doesn’t matter that I don’t have that right now.
Once I got that belief into my head my whole outlook changed. I am certainly not sad and lonely, I am happy and free. What I am doing now is what some people will never ever get to do. I am seeing some of the amazing world we live in and I get the awesome pleasure of discovering myself. Who am I? What I do and don’t like! These things constantly change and evolve over time and so by confining myself to resolutions each year I risk setting myself up for failure when they no longer align with who I am halfway through the year.
So what do I want from 2020?
2019 was a tough old year in many aspects. It was a year where I broke and stripped myself bare in order to slowly rebuild myself the way I wanted. After nearly losing my Mum I learned that life is precious and all we have is this moment right now. The past is over – let those lessons shape you and guide you but do not dwell on them. The future is not yet here so don’t stress and worry over things too far ahead. Short-term goals are best and are far easier to make a success of.
My short term goals are to keep doing me and keep living in the moment. Try to keep momentum with my health and fitness goals but also enjoy myself. If I want a glass of wine or chocolate cake – I’M ON IT!
I want to keep myself surrounded by those who lift and support me – my radiators in life. Anybody that drains me will soon learn that I don’t take kindly to it. Before I came travelling I was told my communication skills were not very good when it came to letting people know what I wanted and how I felt. I have learned over the last year to communicate very clearly what I expect from the people in my life. It is that confidence in myself that has really helped me surround myself with such a positive tribe.
It is eye opening just how many people take offence when you begin to implement boundaries and call out negative behaviours. Just recently I upset a good friend whom I felt had let me down a little in the friendship department. Instead of taking it in the spirit of me trying to address the feeling of hurt and remedy the friendship going forward they took it as a personal attack when I reminded them that honesty and communication were key for me.
Another example is the general election in the UK. I stand by my vote (well done Bojo) but I am surprised by how many people decided they couldn’t be friends with me because our views weren’t the same. Honestly – when did the world become so sensitive? You are chastised for not being open enough and then berated for it when you are. Frankly it’s exhausting!
Going forward 2020 is about being confident enough to be me. I am allowing myself to be open and surprised by the sweet serendipity of life (Oh Bondi take me back!) and it feels great!
So hit me up with your goals and aspirations for 2020 and let’s move forward with peace and love in our hearts. I love you all for who you are – thank you to the ones who do the same for me.